So I apologize to everyone for the lies I spewed on my last post. I honestly did intend to write three parts on my vacation but I didn’t take into account how lazy I am, only the poke flute could have stirred me enough to get me going. So again I apologize for not writing the trilogy, and I’m not going to go back and write it because I honestly don’t remember all the clever stuff I had come up with to write about, which really sucks because I had some good ideas. So anyways I’ve been keeping real busy lately, I sleep, go to class from time to time, play COD4, watch movies and play some basketball. Safe to say sometimes I get so bored I would honestly consider watching a Purdue basketball game if it was on.
So in my boredom I have been thinking about life and what I want to do with it. There are all the usual options, become really rich and famous, which ill definitely do no matter what, enter the upcoming NBA draft, we all know Doc would love that, I could become a camp counselor like Bungalo, I could sell my body, I could gather an unruly gang and rob trains, all of these are solid options and things I would be very successful at. However, I have decided on an even better option, I’m going to apply to be on The Real World. Believe me once they see my tape, they’ll be more excited than this guy on dancing with the stars, excuse me sir but shes underage. I’m pretty excited to film my tape and have been thinking of all the fun things I can do and say to get them to take me on the show, and I’m not kidding I’m really going to try and get on the show. I’m not going to get my dick cut off, or be gay, or get aids, but I’m sure I can come up with something. Well anyways if anyone has ideas please let me know because I’m pretty excited about this, and when I’m on the show you guys can all be like “I know that guy” and it will make you more popular. By the way those of you who watched the Real World Brooklyn, I watched it religiously, did you watch the reunion show? I took two thing out of the reunion show, the first being what the hell happened to this Belle girl that Ryan had been in love with, and the second was how bad I wanted to put a bullet in the head of the host, seriously I couldn’t have hated her more and hope her life turn to misery and anguish.
Moving on, I often think about things I wish I had done in my life, like punch smaller kids when I was younger, or smoke crack, but the main thing I really always regret never having done is learn to play the guitar. Anyone who has been at a party or seen me at any point when a good song is playing knows I always sing every single word along with it, and pretend to play the guitar emphatically (I just spelled that word right on the first try). So anyways, I always wish I could play guitar, and I have tried to learn a few times, the problem is I don’t want to have to learn the shit, I just want to be able to play the songs. So I always try and skip over the actual learning the basics, and just try and play songs, and it doesn’t really work out when you flip out from frustration after about ten minutes every time. But man do I wish I knew how, I would start a band, which would be called Offshore Banking, and don’t any of you try and steal that band name because Mellen and I have it trademarked in case we ever do learn to play instruments.
To a new topic, my philosophy class. In philosophy we are now discussing by far my favorite topic to talk about, the existence of god. Honestly there is nothing more fun than explaining to people how insanely idiotic religion and the idea of a god is. We even get to have debates on it in a few weeks, I can’t wait to leave my classmates stuttering as bad as this guy after I pwn them and their silly god. Anyways so my teacher was lecturing about different views on the world and on the idea of god, so far I get the impression she agrees with me on this stuff, and she was talking about how there are some things we just accept and expect to happen and don’t feel we need to come up with an outside explanation for. She used the example of dropping her marker and it falling to the ground, and said, she could believe it fell to the ground because of gravity, or that when she dropped it little fairies from the fairy world grabbed the marker and guided it on a path to the ground, or she said, she could have prayed to god the night before that if she drop a marker, he should make it fall to the ground, and when it fell she exclaimed hallelujah praise the lord thank you god it’s a miracle my prayers are answered. She then laughed, picked up the marker, walked to the board, and said “Jeeze I gotta start prayin for better shit.” Safe to say this was the best moment of my week and I now like my teacher a whole lot more than I did before.
So to sum things up I am applying to the Real World, I hate the lady who hosted the Real World Reunion show, I wish I could play guitar, this is hilarious, And my Philosophy teacher is funny as hell. By the way I hope you are all extremely jealous as I will be going to the Frozen Four in DC next week! Fuckem up Fuckem up Go Cats Go!
Brendan McCarthy
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