Its been a while since I wrote anything new on here. That is because there really hasn’t been much to write about. Even though my life is boring as fuck, I feel it is about time I write something new. So I will try and come up with the most interesting and comedic things that I have encountered lately. I only have one story that fits those criteria so here it is:
One day last week I went with Bungalo to visit his cousins in New Hampshire. On the car ride Bungalo put forth a challenge. There are 5000 songs on his Ipod and he challenged me to think of one song at random that I wanted to hear. I wrote that song down in my phone, and he was going to try and guess the correct song and play it. He began scrolling through his Ipod and after a few minutes he selected a song. The music started and the next words out of my mouth were “No Fucking Way!” Believe it or not he got it right. I had written in my phone “Acoustic version of ‘The Kill’ by 30 Seconds to Mars” and that is exactly what he played.
One of his cousins has two kids. She has a 2 year old boy, and a 5 year old boy. The five year old wanted us to toss the baseball for him to hit. He made it into a game and I feel confident in saying his rules were horseshit! If he hit the ball he gained points in random and excessive amounts and we lost points. If he swung and missed, we gained even more points and we lost even more. Someone please tell me if this makes any sense. I tried to explain to the kid that these rules were fucking stupid but he wasn’t having any of it. He ended up winning even though he was about as good at baseball as this kid is at punting.
We then began drawing with chalk on the driveway. Bundles, being funny, drew a giant dick and balls. He then filled it in with eyes and a moth to make it look like a face, but it was still very clearly a big dick. We named the face Mr. Johnson. The kids, being very impressionable, began drawing their own Mr. Johnsons all over. So now essentially we had a 2 year old and a 5 year old drawing giant cocks all over their driveway. They were as enthusiastic as this guy is about OJ's lawyer. Then Bundles drew a girl with huge tits. The five year old looked at it and said: “Ooooo She has sexy boobies!” This was of course incredibly hilarious but the best was still to come.
Finally the 2 year old crapped in his diaper. This meant that he would have to be changed. His mother said they should go inside and she would change his diaper and get him cleaned up. Then, the 2 year old kid began yelling “No wipe my penis! No wipe my Penis!” And at this I fucking lost it. I mean seriously upon hearing this it is safe to say I had more shit in my pants than this little kid had all over his ass and apparently dick as well.
Brendan McCarthy
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